Category: Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction

  • Believe Change is Possible

    manhattan_bridge_post_versionAs a recovery coach, I work with people trying to change a habit. We work on finding different ways of responding to a trigger. For some seeking recovery, they want to find an easier, softer way. Others think willpower is all they need to get sober. But that doesn’t always work. As Charles Duhigg describes in his book, the Power of Habit, for a habit to be changed, people must believe change is possible..

    Where does this belief come from? Habit change can emerge from a tragedy or from some kind of adversity. Many addictions have been successfully abandoned when an individual hits bottom and finally seeks treatment. Many people give up smoking after a diagnosis of heart disease or when a family member is being treated for lung cancer.

    A Harvard study in 1994 examined people that had radically changed their lives. Some had experienced the death of a loved one, divorce or life-threatening illness. Others radically changed their life from observing a friend experience a disaster. Tragedy plays an important part of having an impact on one’s life. But equal to tragedy facilitating change, the same amount of people made change happen in their life because they were surrounded by supportive friends that encouraged change. The Harvard study sites a woman that changed the direction her life when she took one psychology course at a local college and found a group of like-minded individuals. Another man came out of his introverted shell when he joined an acting group. So for change to happen for many, it didn’t take a life shattering event, it simply took a community of believers.

    “Change occurs among people”

    Todd Heatherton, Dartmouth College Lincoln Filene Professor

    A community of non-smokers talk about how great it feels like to be a non-smoker. How nice it is not to have your hair smell like an ashtray. Your spouse commented on how fresh his clothes smell, now that you have stopped smoking. And co-workers admire you for having the strength to stop smoking. These like-minded people can also resolve some negative feelings, as well. Such as what to do after a meal, when the habit of lighting up a Marlboro is the most strong. Or how to refrain from smoking in your car. These friends are there for you to call, text or email whenever the urge to smoke becomes unbearable. Support from a community and their confidence in you, bolsters the strength you need to believe you will not pick up a cigarette.

    For habits to change permanently, people must believe change is possible. This same process makes any mutual support group very effective – the power of a group to teach individuals that they can believe it is possible to change. This belief happens when people come together to help one another to change. Whether the group is Nicotine Anonymous, a grief support group or massive amounts of volunteers descending on New Orleans, post Katrina, to re-build the city to it’s former glory.

    Change is easier when it occurs within a community.

     

     

  • Internet Addiction Disorder- What is it? What treatment is available?

    Internet Addiction Disorder- What is it?

    Internet addiction disorder or IAD is also referred to as Problematic Internet Use (PIU),[i] Compulsive Internet Use, (CIU),[ii] Internet overuse, problematic computer use, pathological computer use, or I-Disorder,[iii]. IAD is excessive computer use which interferes with daily life.[iv]

    manhattan_bridge_post_versionHabits such as reading email, playing computer games, or binge viewing every Twilight movie or entire seasons of Breaking Bad are troubling only to the extent that these activities interfere with normal life. Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is often separated by the activity involved in the compulsive actions, such as video or online gaming; online social networking;[i] blogging; online stock trading, online gambling, inappropriate Internet pornography use, reading email;[ii] or Internet shopping.[iii]

    A Cyber-Relationship Addiction has been described as the addiction to accessing and using social networking platforms such as Facebook, Linked In, or online dating services such as Match.com and creating fictitious relationships with others through the internet. Along with many other meet-up platforms, such as Tinder or Siren, (mobile phone apps using a GPS that create a way to meet new people), finding online friends has been made very easy, yet very dangerous because there is no way to check the backgrounds of these fictitious friends. These virtual online friends start to gain more importance to the addict, eventually becoming more important than family and real-life friends.

    Most, if not all “Internet addicts”, already fall under existing diagnostic labels.[iv] For many individuals, overuse or inappropriate use of the Internet is a manifestation of their depression, anxiety, impulse control disorders, or pathological gambling. According to the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery’s director Kimberly S. Young,[v] “Internet addicts suffer from emotional problems such as depression and anxiety-related disorders and often use the fantasy world of the Internet to psychologically escape unpleasant feelings or stressful situations.”[vi] More than half are also addicted to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, pornography or sex.[vii]

    What kind of treatment is available?

    Corrective strategies include using software that will control or block the unwanted content, such as porn or gaming sites from an individual’s computer, addiction counselling, and cognitive behavioral therapy.[viii] One might consider placing time limits on smart phone or computer use, such as no smart phone use during homework time or no computer use after 9pm. The major reasons that the Internet is so addicting is the lack of limits and the absence of accountability by parents, teachers, and health professionals.[ix] Professionals generally agree that, for Internet addiction, controlled use is a more practical goal than total abstinence.[x]

    Families in the People’s Republic of China and South Korea have turned to unlicensed training camps that offer to “wean” their children, often in their teens, from overuse of the Internet. An internet addiction treatment center was started in Delhi, the capital city of India by a nonprofit organization, the Uday Foundation. In 2009, ReSTART, a residential treatment center for “pathological computer use”, opened near Seattle, Washington. The Ranch, a treatment center in Nunnelly, TN, that focuses on behavioral addictions has an internet addiction program. Dr Kimberly Young directs a treatment program called the Internet Addiction Program as part of the Behavioral Health Services Dual Diagnosis Unit at Bradford Regional Medical Center in Bradford, PA. Dr. Maressa Orzack, has treated addictive behaviors at the Computer Addiction Services unit at the McLean Hospital, in Belmont and Newton Center, Massachusetts. The Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery has an Internet Addictions treatment track with locations in Peoria, Normal, Harvey and Springfield Illinois. New Beginnings offers treatment for Internet Addiction with facilities in many states.

    For those that are not exactly sure they need treatment for an Internet addiction, there is Online Gamers Anonymous, (OLGA, and OLG-Anon). Founded in 2002, by Elizabeth (Liz) Woolley after her son, Shawn Woolley, committed suicide while logged into EverQuest.  OLGA is a twelve-step, self-help, support and recovery organization for gamers (OLGA) and their loved ones (OLG-Anon) who are suffering from the adverse effects of addictive computer gaming. It offers resources such as discussion forums, online chat meetings, Skype meetings and links to other resources.[xv]


    References used in this blog

    [i] Masters K. (2015). “Social Networking Addiction among Health Sciences Students in Oman“. Sultan Qaboos University Medical Journal 15 (3): 357–363. doi:10.18295/squmj.2015.15.03.009.

    [ii] Turel, O. & Serenko, A. (2010). “Is mobile email addiction overlooked?” (PDF). Communications of the ACM 53 (5): 41–43. doi:10.1145/1735223.1735237.

    [iii] eBay Addiction”. Center for Internet Addiction, web site: Net Addiction http://netaddiction.com/ebay-addiction/Retrieved 2015-11-16

    [iv] Hooked on the Web: Help Is on the Way. New York Times, Dec. 1, 2005.

    [v] Young, K. (2009). Issues for Internet Addiction as a New Diagnosis in the DSM-V. Washington, District of Columbia, US: American Psychological Association. Retrieved from PsycEXTRA database.

    [vi]Frequently Asked Questions”. Netaddiction.com. Retrieved 2014-01-30.

    [vii]Frequently Asked Questions”. Netaddiction.com. Retrieved 2014-01-30.

    [viii] “University of Notre Dame Counseling Center, “Self help – Lost in Cyberspace”. Retrieved 2009-11-11.

    [ix] “Internet addiction and lack of accountability”. internet-addiction-guide.com. 2010-12-07. Retrieved 2011-07-06.

    [x] Young, Kimberly S. (2007). “Treatment Outcomes with Internet Addicts” (PDF). CyberPsychology & Behavior 10 (5): 671–679. doi:10.1089/cpb.2007.9971. Retrieved 2014-03-13.

    [xi] Wikipedia, OLGA accessed on Nov 16, 2015- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On-Line_Gamers_Anonymous

  • Service keeps you sober — Research is proving this age-old slogan

    manhattan_bridgeEver since I walked into the rooms, I heard the phrase “Service keeps you sober.” I already knew I was a helping type of person, in fact in my addiction it was called being a rescuer. So I stayed away from service for the first few years. When I was ready to do service, I remember desperately waiting the required three months of sobriety to chair my first meeting. Then praying to receive special dispensation to be a meeting list coordinator at the Intergroup/Regional level, because I only had six months, not the required one year of sobriety. I learned why service kept me sober. It occupies the time I would be spending acting out with doing good things. Well, that’s what I thought.

    Service might be the key to staying sober

    Maria Pagano, an addiction researcher at Case Western University, thinks service to others might be the key to staying sober. In recent years, a growing body of research has found that helping others brings measurable physical and psychological benefits to the helper. Building on this work, Pagano is exploring the surprising benefits of altruism for people battling addiction. Her studies have shown that addicts who help others, even in small ways—such as calling other AA members to remind them about meetings or setting up chairs before a meeting—can significantly improve their chances of staying sober and avoiding relapse.

    Surveys and studies say that abuse of alcohol and narcotics is rising among young people  and drug-related deaths have doubled among middle-class whites. Many addicts who exit treatment programs relapse within the first 90 days of being discharged, leaving treatment professionals yearning for more effective treatment strategies. If getting addicts to do service is key to their recovery, as Pagano believes, it could revolutionize the addictions treatment field.

    Pagano was familiar with the research on helping when she joined Brown University’s Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies Center in 2002. As she learned more about the different treatments for addiction, she was surprised that there seemed to be no one looking at the role of doing service.

    “It was all about what services to give these suffering patients,” she says, “and nothing about getting them active or about how their own experiences about getting sober and being sober can be useful to others.”

    Addicts help their recovery by helping other people

    She decided to explore the impact that helping others could have on people in recovery. Looking at data from one of the largest studies of addiction to date, with 1,726 participants, conducted by the University of Connecticut, Pagano was able to measure it by looking at how many study participants became AA sponsors or completed the 12th step of AA, which involves helping others in recovery.

    When she compared helpers to non-helpers in AA, she found that 40 percent of the addicts that did service or the “helpers” avoided taking a drink in the 12 months following their stay at treatment facility, while only 22 percent of “non-helpers” stayed sober. These results have rarely been seen in addiction treatment studies before.

    In fact, age, gender, income, work status, addiction severity level, or level of antisocial personality disorder of the participants in the study didn’t matter. None of these characteristics predicted helping behavior. “Someone from Yale to jail had an equal chance of being a helper,” Pagano says.

    Only one factor seemed related to helping; those who were more depressed starting out in their recovery were more likely to help. This seemed counter-intuitive, given that depressed people often suffer from lethargy and a sense of helplessness. But according to Pagano, this is exactly the kind of thinking about depression that gets recovery therapists in trouble.

    “In the treatment field, we have this notion that says, ‘Oh, don’t ask too much of the client, especially if they’re depressed. They just need to rest,’” she says. But when she studied the effect of helping on clinical depression, she found that, after six months of doing service, people who had been depressed had their depression levels drop significantly—below the level of what’s clinically considered “depressed.”

    Pagano and her colleagues devised a more precise measure of helping behavior called the SOS (Service to Others in Sobriety) scale for use in future studies. This scale lists 12 helping behaviors that are built into AA and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings—like picking up the phone and calling a fellow AA or NA member, contacting someone to encourage meeting attendance, setting up chairs before the meetings, or becoming a sponsor.

    Maria Pagano’s research suggests addicts help their recovery by helping other people. “This is a no-brainer,” she says. “It’s as essential as medication-assisted therapy.”

    You can’t be ruminating or feeling bitter if you’re feeling moved by helping someone else.

    With a grant from the John Templeton Foundation and funding from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Pagano used the SOS scale to look at 200 adolescents undergoing treatment for alcoholism or drug addiction in Northern Ohio. Her results showed that kids with higher helping scores on the SOS had significantly lower cravings for alcohol and narcotics, reduced feelings of entitlement, and higher “global functioning”—a measure used by clinicians to reflect participation in groups, getting along with others, and academic performance, among other behaviors.

    In fact, Pagano found that even risk factors like having alcoholic or drug-addicted parents, learning problems, physical disabilities, or additional psychiatric diagnoses didn’t change the effect of helping others; helping still had a positive impact.

    Pagano’s analysis makes a significant contribution to the research that shows adolescents benefit from helping others. Pagano’s research is unique and cutting edge, because no one has really studied helping in the context of recovering from addictions.

    AA folks recognized the benefits of service in AA, but there was no research to back it up. Maria Pagano is bringing good science to this age old-slogan “Service keeps you sober”.


    Resources used in this blog

    Learn more about Maria Pagano’s work on her website, Helping Others Live Sober.

    Pagano, M. E., Kelly, J. F., Scur, M. D., Ionescu, R. A., Stout, R. L., Post, S. G. (2013). Assessing Youth Participation in AA-Related Helping: Validity of the Service to Others in Sobriety (SOS) Questionnaire in an Adolescent Sample. American Journal on Addictions 22(1), 60-66.

    Pagano, M.E., Post, S.G., & Johnson, S.M. (2011). Alcoholics Anonymous-Related Helping and the Helper Therapy Principle. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly 29(1), 23-34.

    Pagano, M.E., Krentzman, A.R., Onder, C.C., Baryak, J.L., Murphy, J.L., Zywiak, W.H., & Stout, R.L. (2010). Service to Others in Sobriety (SOS). Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly 28(2), 111-127. PMC3050518.

    Pagano, M.E., Zemore, S.E., Onder, C.C., & Stout, R.L. (2009). Predictors of initial AA-related helping: Findings from Project MATCH. Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs 70(1), 117-125. PMC2629624.

  • On the Nature of Addiction and the Loss of Hope

    On the Nature of Addiction and the Loss of Hope

    Guest post by David Chapman

    The normal state of a productive and happy human existence includes a sense of hope. Dave Chapman block golf shirtThe  nature of addiction exhausts all sense of hope.

    The sense of hope is based on the understanding that the process of productive effort usually results in some observable, measurable improvement in the quality of one’s life and the lives of those important to the individual. The nature of having an addiction means the loss of this hope.

    “I will restore my own sense of hope. I know if I exert control over my environment and my actions I will regain control of my life and I will have reason to be hopeful once more.”

    If I chop some large amount of dry wood and keep it dry, my family and I will be warmed throughout the winter, our ability to survive the winter and the possibility of our thriving in the spring will be augmented. The hope of minimizing suffering, increasing comfort and sustaining enhancements in the quality of our lives is significantly based on the belief that the productive effort is worthwhile and that similar efforts in the future will also be worthwhile.

     

    The act of putting rational expectation – hope – into productive effort is based initially on trial and error. As demonstrated by observation and experience, it is then continued in the manner found to be most efficient.

    I contend that addiction is more than chemical dependence. It is significantly, I believe, fueled by a sense of hopelessness resulting from the brutalization of our rational, reasonable expectations.

    Children who are raised in emotionally irrational or physically violent households have their natural sense of hope altered and sometimes, sadly, destroyed altogether. Hope is similarly damaged in an adult body politic where effort goes unrewarded beyond a level of primitive sustenance and/or when participation in the political process is deemed to be futile and ineffective.

    When we attempt to adjust our behavior to what we think are the demands or desires of those exerting control of our physical and intellectual environment, but those irrational behaviors continue, the ensuing sense of hopelessness – hopelessness based on rational observation – will continue and can threaten to become permanent.

    The addicted personality may be able to overcome a physical addiction. However, until a sense of rational hopefulness is restored and we can believe that our thoughts and actions will have a beneficial impact on our lives, the spiritual addiction will probably not be overcome.


     

    Dave Chapman is our guest blogger this week. Dave was born in Newark, New Jersey and grew up in the suburban town of Glen Ridge, New Jersey. He has been a shoe shine boy, a moving man, a golf caddy, a limousine driver, a truck driver, worked retail at The Home Depot, a life insurance agent, a stock broker and financial advisor. He studied the humanities and comparative literature at Ohio Wesleyan University. In addition to his motivational speaking and John Maxwell coaching affiliation, Dave is a freelance writer and teaches several classes in the Humanities as an Adjunct Professor at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at Rutgers University. He can be contacted by email at: davechapman@wellsaiddave.com

     

  • How can you heal the trauma within?

    manhattan_bridgeTrauma changes you. You might not necessarily like that change. How can you heal the trauma within? You have the ability to transform yourself into a healthier person. You have enormous healing potential; the goal is learning to access it—and then to use that potential to heal the trauma, release the addiction(s), and obtain a glorious new life.

    Without your consent, trauma can change you, often into a person you’d rather not be.                                                -Michele Rosenthal

    Working through trauma can be scary, painful, and sometimes retraumatizing. Because of the risk of retraumatization, this healing work is best done with the help of an experienced trauma specialist. The clinical term for a therapist that has experience in treating trauma  is a trauma informed therapist. The therapist will be able to answer questions as to his/her experience in trauma informed care over the phone. You want to ask if they are experienced in EMDR, Light Entrainment or Somatic Experiencing.

    Treatment for Trauma

    When you are triggered by a trauma memory, your nervous system gets stuck in overdrive. Successful trauma treatment revisits these traumatic memories, and allows you observe the trauma and your “fight-flight-freeze” response. The therapist will establish a sense of safety and help you resolve the past traumas. The following therapies are commonly used in the treatment of PTSD, emotional and psychological trauma:

      • Somatic Experiencing:  Somatic processing of trauma takes advantage of the body’s unique ability to heal itself. The focus of therapy is on bodily sensations or movements (like excessive leg movement, wringing of your hands or profuse perspiration) rather than thoughts and memories about the traumatic event. By concentrating on what’s happening in your body, you gradually get in touch with trauma-related energy and tension. The therapist will encourage you to safely release this pent-up energy through shaking, crying, and other forms of physical release.
      • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): This practice incorporates two paddles that when held in your hands vibrate, and a headset that sends a low tone alternating from one ear and then to the other ear. The tones and the vibration of the paddles distract the conscience mind, allowing for the unconscious or sub-conscience memories to arise. The therapist and you explore these memories and discuss them to attempt to resolve the feelings around the trauma.
      • CLEAR Therapy (Colored Light Entrainment and Re-patterning) Clear Therapy is a method of releasing unresolved core emotional issues using colored light. When a flashing light is emitted into the eyes, the brain adopts the rhythm of the strobe. In the initial intake session, you will look at 11 different colors of flashing light and the therapist is able to pinpoint issues based on what you see in each color. In the following sessions, the feedback from your perception of the colors enables the therapist to uncover core beliefs that drive your thinking, feelings or behavior. CLEAR is coordinated with eye movement (see EMDR), breath work and meridian-based therapies (see EFT) to facilitate rapid resolution of the problem.
      • LST (Light Stimulation Therapy) LST enhances learning abilities and performance by stimulating the eye and brain with light. A LST session has you sitting comfortably in a darkened room, looking at a waveband of colored light which is focused directly on your eyes. It is advised to have 3 to 5 sessions per week until a total of 20 sessions is completed. At the end of the 20-sessions, there is a reevaluation to determine the necessity of further treatment.
      • The Brain and Brainwave Entrainment-The DAVID Device: The senses of sight and hearing, by their very nature, provide a favorable environment for affecting brainwaves. By presenting pulsed audio and visual stimulation to the brain, the brain begins to vibrate at the same frequency as the pulsed audio from the DAVID Device. The device sends flashes of lights into a pair of glasses, and pulsed tones through a pair of headphones to gently guide the brain into altered states of consciousness.
      • The Green Wave Therapy: The Green Wave Therapy is a technique that combines green laser light, micro current energy, and some of the principles of EMDR [Eye Movement Desensitization and Re-patterning], and EFT [The Emotional Freedom Acupressure Technique]. You will rest on a massage table, and a micro current device focuses on the region between your eyebrows. You hold the EMDR paddles in your hands as they pulse rhythmically. You also wear a headset that delivers audio tones in unison with the paddle’s vibrations. The practitioner stands back about 4-5 feet and circles the entire body with green laser light. With every 1-2 minute pass, the clinician checks the level of distress you are experiencing while thinking about the trauma.
      • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Based on impressive new discoveries involving the body’s energies, EFT has been reported to be 80% clinically effective in relieving Trauma. The EFT procedure involves tapping with the fingers on points on the body that are associated with acupuncture pressure points. While doing the tapping sequence, distressful thoughts and/or events are targeted and healing statements are repeated out loud. EFT often works where nothing else will. It is rapid, long lasting and gentle. No drugs or equipment are involved. It is easily learned by anyone in less than an hour. EFT techniques can be taught and be self-administered.

    Trauma Recovery Tips

    Recovering from emotional and psychological trauma takes time. Give yourself time to heal and to mourn the losses you’ve experienced. During your trauma therapy here are some self-help strategies to keep you healthy and continue the healing between your therapeutic sessions:

               1: Don’t isolate

               2: Stay grounded

               3: Take care of your health

    Don’t try to force the healing process. Be patient with your pace of recovery. Finally, be prepared for difficult and volatile emotions. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment or guilt.

     

  • Is there a trauma-addiction connection?

    manhattan_bridgeIs there a trauma-addiction connection? Adverse childhood experiences (trauma) are well known to significantly increase the risk of psychiatric disorders in adulthood. Ample evidence has shown that childhood trauma endangers the brain’s development, structure and function. Several traumatic experiences could make a person susceptible, later in life, to problems related to memory, judgment, reasoning, and could affect emotional and decision-making skills. Psychiatric illnesses, including schizophrenia, major depression, bipolar disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and addiction, are also linked to adverse childhood traumatic experiences.

    Traumatic life experiences, such as physical and sexual abuse as well as neglect, occur at alarmingly high rates in the United States and is considered a major public health problem. Other examples of traumatic life experiences could be witnessing family violence, parental separation and divorce, experiencing a catastrophic weather event such as Hurricane Katrina, losing your home as a result of a wild fire, moving several times in childhood or going hungry.

    The link between traumatic experiences and substance abuse has been well-established. For example, in the National Survey of Adolescents, teens who had experienced physical, or sexual abuse or assault were three times more likely to report they had abused a substance than those without a history of trauma.

    In surveys of adolescents receiving treatment for substance abuse, more than 70% of the adolescents reported a history of some sort of trauma.

    While experiencing a trauma doesn’t guarantee that a person will develop an addiction, research clearly suggests that trauma is a major underlying source of addiction behavior. Founder of HealMyPTSD.com and author Michele Rosenthal culled statistics from a report issued by the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Department of Veterans Affairs to show the strong correlation between trauma and alcohol addiction:

    • Sources estimate that 25 and 75 percent of people who survive abuse and/or violent experiences develop issues related to alcohol abuse.
    • Accidents, illness or natural disasters translate to between 10 to 33 percent of survivors reporting alcohol abuse.
    • A diagnosis of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) increases the risk of developing alcohol abuse.
    • Female trauma survivors face increased risk for an alcohol-use disorder.
    • Male and female sexual abuse survivors experience a higher rate of alcohol- and drug-use disorders compared to those who have not survived such abuse.
    • 27 percent of veterans in Veterans Administration care diagnosed with PTSD also have Substance Use Disorder (SUD)

    Similar research linking trauma and addiction exists for other habitual behaviors, including sexually compulsive behavior and eating disorders. Delving deeper into the trauma-addiction connection tells us that addiction is a coping mechanism. Addictions often help reduce the sensation of the overwhelming anxiety, stress and fear that trauma triggers create. Individuals participating in the research confirm that addictions are implemented as an attempt to self-manage (or self-medicate) what comes up for them when unmanageable trauma memories appear. These forms of self-management or self-medication are used as a positive survival instinct, but have very negative consequences. The key is to recognize the use of substances to manage trauma responses and to choose another tool for self-management.

    Next week’s post will go further exploring the link of addiction and trauma.


    References used in this post:

    Department of Veterans Affairs Teesson M, Ross J, Peters L (2006) Trauma, PTSD, and substance use disorders: findings from the Australian National Survey of Mental Health and Well-Being. American Journal of Psychiatry. 2006 Apr;163(4):652-8., http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16585440

    Public Interest Directorate- Children, Youth, and Families, An American Psychological Association Directorate-Advancing the creation, communication and application of psychological knowledge to benefit society and improve people’s lives. Activity Summary- August 2012 – August 2013Website: http://www.apa.org/pi/families/index.aspx

    Kilpatrick DG, Saunders BE, Smith DW.(2003). Youth Victimization: Prevalence and Implications [Electronic]. U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Program, National Institute of Justice. Available at: http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/194972.pdf

    Michele Rosenthal (2015) Trauma and Addiction: 7 Reasons Your Habit Makes Perfect Sense, Published on March 30, 2015 in Behavioral Health, Living in Recovery, Living with Addiction and at Recovery.org website: http://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/trauma-and-addiction-7-reasons-your-habit-makes-perfect-sense/

    and  http://healmyptsd.com/


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  • What kind of credential do I need to be a Professional Recovery Coach?

    What kind of credential do I need to be a Professional Recovery Coach?

    manhattan_bridge_post_versionWhen I published my book Recovery Coaching – A Guide to Coaching People in Recovery from Addictions in 2013, the term professional recovery coach or professional recovery life coach was not in frequent use.

    A professional recovery coach is trained in professional coaching techniques, which means he or she has been educated in group dynamics (how people act in a group), how to develop high performing individuals (leadership) or how to facilitate change. Additionally, they have training in the addiction recovery models, motivational interviewing and Harm Reduction. They may use their experiential knowledge of their own recovery to augment their professional recovery coaching faculties. Professional coaches work in many fields: executive coaching, business coaching, finance coaching, wellness coaching or life coaching. Recovery coaching fits nicely into the life coaching model.

    International Coaching Federation (ICF)

    There is one worldwide organization that is recognized as issuing professional coaching credentials, the International Coaching Federation (ICF), http://coachfederation.org. There are three levels of ICF coaching credentials. The Associate Certified Coach (ACC) Credential is for the coach who is just beginning in the field, and is the first credential that can be completed with ICF. The Professional Certified Coach Credential (PCC) is for the more experienced coach and the Master Certified Coach (MCC) Credential is for the expert coach.

    When seeking to be credentialed as an Associate Certified Coach (ACC), the coach has to have completed an entire ICF Accredited Coach Training Program (ACTP). On the ICF website is a list of all of the accepted training programs from which the ICF will accept training credentials. The ICF does not offer a unique recovery coaching credential, nor a peer recovery-support credential.

    There is one organization, Family Recovery Resources, listed in the ICF Accredited Coach Training Program that offers a family-in-recovery coaching course for a family recovery coach certificate. There are no other recommended organizations that offer any recovery coach orientated courses. If a recovery coach has received training from any organization specializing in recovery coaching training, it is likely that the training would not be credited toward an ICF certificate. There is a very interesting selection of courses in the ICF Accredited Coach Training Program, such as executive coaching, end-of-life coaching, divorce coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, wellness coaching, conflict coaching and several other excellent learning opportunities, on the ICF web site.

    The ACC applicants must work while they learn, and complete 100 hours of client-to-coach experience during their coach-specific training program. In addition the applicants are required to receive 10 hours of Mentor Coaching, and 100 hours (75 hours to be paid) of coaching experience with at least 8 clients, post training. There is a performance evaluation (audio recording and written transcript of coaching session) and a Coaching Knowledge Assessment (CKA) to complete the ACC credentialing application. The ACC credentialing process costs are dependent on the types of training courses a coach must take to complete the requirements for the certificate. The ACC credentialing process can take from 18 months to two years complete.

    It is my hope that the information transmitted in the past few posts will help a person interested in recovery coaching see the path to certification a bit more clearly. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you have about the path you should take in seeking your recovery coaching training and credentialing.

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  • What kind of certification do I need to be a recovery coach?

    What kind of certification do I need to be a recovery coach?

    manhattan_bridge_post_versionI published my book Recovery Coaching – A Guide to Coaching People in Recovery from Addictions in 2013. Since then, recovery coach or peer-recovery specialist certification training has become one of the fastest growing aspects of the coaching field. So what kind of certification do I need to be a recovery coach?

    In 2013, the organizations that offer recovery coach or peer-recovery specialist training numbered around 50. Today, the number has grown to 250. Many state certification boards have established recovery coach and peer-recovery support specialist certifications. Yet, for many people that seek to be a recovery coach the qualifications, the training, the requirements for certification, or credentialing seem baffling. So I would like to attempt to clear up this confusion and will answer these questions in this post:

    • What is the process for certification as a recovery coach or peer recovery specialist?
    • What kind of certification should I be focusing on?

    What is the process of being qualified, getting training and then credentialed as a recovery coach or peer-recovery support specialist?

    If you are investigating becoming a recovery coach, I suggest you follow these steps:

    1. Research the training organizations that offer recovery coach training you can afford. Go to http://www.mkrecoverycoaching.com/recovery-coach-training-organizations/ for a list of addiction recovery coach training organizations
    2. Verify that you meet the qualifications to apply for the course (e.g. be 18-years-old, have a GED or high school diploma, one year sobriety from any addiction)
    3. Take and pass the course, retain the coaching certificate for future purposes
    4. Research places like Recovery Community Organizations or treatment centers to work or volunteer as a recovery-coach-in-training
    5. Apply to your state certification board for recovery coach certification (a fee may apply)
    6. Complete the recovery-coach-in-training supervised practice hours that are required by the state board
    7. Send in your application with paperwork verifying the completion of practice hours to the state credentialing board with a certification fee (fee varies for every state, from $100-$250)
    8. Receive your recovery coaching or peer-recovery support specialist certificate
    9. In the next 2 – 5 years take the required courses for renewing this certificate. Refer to your state board for more information on courses and renewal time frames. A renewal fee will be required.

    What kind of certification do I need to be a recovery coach?

    For an addiction recovery coach, the certification and training is prefaced with the terms: peer-support specialist, certified peer-recovery practitioner, recovery coach or peer-recovery specialist. Every state is different and every state uses different names for these certifications. Look for courses that offer the training needed for an addictions coach and a peer working with people in mental health recovery certification. It is the exact same training, in the same exact classroom, for two different jobs descriptions! It may be confusing now, and quite possibly the content and descriptions of  these courses may change going forward. But I would have to have a crystal ball to predict that for certain.

    I suggest you first take a certification training course. You can make the decision after the training is completed to apply for state board certification. As a coach if you are interested in being your own business person, certification by a training organization should be adequate. If you want to work in a treatment center, with a recovery community organization, social services agency or hospital, certification issued by the state’s certification board or the International Certification and Reciprocity Consortium (IC&RC) is required by the institution hiring you. If you want to carry professional liability insurance, or be reimbursed by Medicaid for your services, certification by a state certification board is mandatory.

    What is a state certification board?

    The process for receiving a certificate as a recovery coach is overseen by a state’s certification or licensing board. A state certification board tests and renews practitioner’s (coaches, therapists, nurses, etc.) certificates to ensure their knowledge is up to par. Also, that they have the ethical knowledge to practice in their profession. These processes for certification, such as training, educational requirements, exams and renewal guidelines, varies from state to state. These certification standards are recognized by health care companies, insurance companies, Medicaid, Medicare as well as companies that hire these practitioners.

    These state certification boards are the same boards that issue licenses or certifications for drug and alcohol counselors, and therapists. Some states have combined licenses and certifications boards all in one office, so it could be the same office in which nurses or hairdressers receive their licenses. I suggest you search the Internet for drug and alcohol certification for your state. Then search for the state board website for recovery coach or peer-recovery support specialist certification. As of May 2008, thirty state credentialing boards had developed criteria for the training and deployment of recovery coaches and peer-recovery specialists, so you should have no trouble finding these boards on the Internet.

    What is Reciprocity?

    Reciprocity is a term you will see used often on these board sites. When you are certified through your home state’s certification board, you may have the ability to transfer that credential to another state. This is called reciprocity. State certification boards may offer reciprocity to certified coaches in other states. The state boards have the authority to set reciprocity requirements for coaches to practice in their state. Not all certifications are eligible for reciprocity. It is vitally important that you investigate reciprocity guidelines prior to relocating to another state, because it can be a very complicated process.

    There are national and international recovery coach certifications available. In 2013, the International Certification and Reciprocity Consortium (IC&RC) developed a peer recovery credential. The application for the peer-recovery certification appears on the IC & RC web site. An IC & RC credential is accepted by many agencies and treatment centers when they are hiring recovery coaches.

    In next week’s post I will review what kind of training you need to have in order to apply for recovery coach certification.

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  • What is the difference between a recovery coach, a peer recovery support specialist and a professional recovery coach?

     

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    I published my book Recovery Coaching – A Guide to Coaching People in Recovery from Addictions in 2013. A recovery coach, a peer recovery support specialist and a professional recovery coach’s job descriptions have expanded significantly since then. The organizations that offer recovery coach training numbered around 50 in 2013. Today, the number has grown to 250. Recovery coach certification training is one of the fastest growing aspects of the coaching field, with many states establishing recovery coaching and peer recovery support-specialist certifications. Yet, for many people who seek to achieve basic recovery coaching information, the process of training, certification, credentialing or licensing are baffling. With all of this growth and change, anyone who is interested in being a recovery coach is very confused about the necessary training, what to call this training and even what to call themselves! I want to make an attempt to clear up this confusion and answer these questions:

    • What is the difference between a recovery coach, a peer recovery support-specialist and a professional recovery coach?
    • On what kind of certification should a future recovery coach focus?
    • What are the guidelines for certification of a recovery coach?

    (Some of the answers to these questions will appear in upcoming posts.)

    What is a Recovery Coach?

    A recovery coach is a person that works with and supports individuals immersed in an addiction(s), and coaches people in recovery from the abuse of alcohol and drugs, gambling, eating disorders or other addictive behaviors. Sometimes recovery coaches who work with people with addictions have been referred to as a peer recovery support specialist, a recovery support specialist, a sober companion, recovery associate or quit coach. In all cases these terminologies describe the same job description; a person who meets with clients in order to aid in their recovery from addiction(s). Even though many certifications for recovery coaches are classified as peer recovery support practitioner certifications. I prefer to use the term recovery coach in describing a person coaching an individual in recovery from addiction, instead of using the term “peer,” mainly because there is no requirement that a recovery coach be a peer (meaning they are an addict in recovery). Although it may be believed having experiential knowledge is a best practice for a recovery coach, it could be a recovery coach has knowledge of addiction and recovery perhaps by knowing an addict, having a family member with an addiction or taking courses in the treatment field.

    I have kept the term “non-clinical” out of this definition of a recovery coach because over the course of several years, I have seen drug and alcohol counselors, family and marriage therapists (MFTs), licensed clinical social workers, interventionists (LCSWs), psychotherapists and psychiatrists, train to be recovery coaches and then add coaching to their resume. I hear from these individuals that they embrace the coaching approach, and merge the knowledge they have as a clinician or interventionist with recovery coaching methods.

    Some individuals seek recovery and sobriety from addictions by frequenting a recovery community organization (RCOs) or recovery support center. An RCO is an independent, non-profit organization led and governed by representatives of local communities of recovery. There are recovery coaches at these recovery community organizations. These coaches have very diverse backgrounds. I have met coaches that were addicts, homeless, offenders, teachers, lawyers and highly educated individuals, who choose to help another person in recovery. I have seen these coaches espouse 12-step ideologies as well as non-12-step recovery models such as Buddhist Recovery, Moderation Management, Kundalini Yoga or Harm Reduction. Sometimes, the recovery coaches at these centers receive a salary from the RCO, however, the client is not charged for the recovery coaching services. RCO recovery coaches can also be volunteers, opting to perform their coaching duties for no reimbursement at all.

    Lastly, recovery coaches can be employed by treatment centers or sober living homes and receive compensation from them. In cases such as this, the client is billed for the coaching services from the centers or homes. I know many a recovery coach who has opened a transitional living home or a supportive sober living environment. They coach the people who reside at these locations and their presence adds to the quality of the recovery experience.

    Is recovery coaching covered by insurance?

    Unfortunately, the answer to that question is no. No independent health insurance company covers the services of a recovery coach working with an individual in recovery from an addiction. There is currently only one state, New York, that has an arrangement with the state’s Medicaid offices to reimburse for recovery coaching for individuals who are diagnosed as dependent on a substance. Other states, Tennessee, Maryland and Massachusetts, are formulating similar Medicaid payment plans, but these reimbursements are not yet in place.

    What is a peer to peer recovery support specialist?

    A nearly universal definition of a peer to peer recovery support specialist is an individual with lived experience who has initiated his/her own recovery journey and assists others who are in earlier stages of the healing process of recovery from psychic, traumatic and/or substance-use challenges and, as a result, can offer assistance and support to promote another peer’s own personal recovery journey. A peer to peer recovery support specialist is also called a peer, peer support-practitioner, peer mentor, or a certified peer. All of these terms basically describe the same job description. More and more, this job description is focused on the peer to peer recovery support specialist working with a person in mental health recovery.

    The certified peer to peer recovery support specialist workforce is relatively new in the behavioral health field, with state-recognized certification programs first emerging in 2001. Within this short time frame, states have recognized the potential of peer specialists to improve consumer outcomes by promoting recovery. Many social service agencies pay the peer’s salary, and the client does not pay for the coaching. In the mental health/behavioral health field, when referred by a social services agency or mental health treatment organization, reimbursement for a peer to peer recovery support specialist is covered by a health plan or Medicaid.

    Peer to peer recovery support specialists can also work independently from an agency and be reimbursed by the client or a family. Peer to peer recovery support specialists can also choose to provide these services as a volunteer and receive no financial reward.

    What is a professional recovery coach?

    A professional recovery coach, is sometimes referred to as a recovery life coach. A professional recovery coach has experience and training in the recovery models, and training as a professional coach. These professional and credentialed coaching programs are sometimes referred to as life coaching training. A professional recovery coach can receive training from any of the 250 organizations that train recovery coaches, and select not to receive the certificate from a state certification board or the IC & RC (see the certification information in next week’s post). A professional coach can receive training from the ICF – International Coach Federation’s accredited coach training programs, and apply for a credential issued by the ICF.

    A professional recovery coach can assist a client with a variety of coaching interventions including, but not limited to recovery from addictions, dealing with mental health diagnoses, divorce, financial downturns, grieving, career change and even family relationship issues. The client is billed for the coaching services from the professional recovery coach. Again, healthcare plans do not reimburse for these coaching services.

    Stay tuned for next week’s post on certification for recovery coaches.

  • Every narcissist needs a codependent love addict

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    “The most common toxic relationship is between the codependent love addict and the narcissist love addict. Opposites attract and love addicts are vulnerable to charming people.” -Author, therapist and founder of Love Addicts Anonymous, Susan Peabody.

    Narcissism is a personality disorder. It stems from childhood abuse. When these abused children are young, they decide that the world, and the people in it, are bad and they are the only ones that are good. These thoughts result in a distorted view of themselves. They are the ones that are perfect, and they should be catered to. They lack compassion for others, because everyone else is ‘less than’ or wrong. In general, narcissists are incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship because they have to be in control at all times. But really, a narcissist has to be in control so they are not abandoned, abused or hurt. These narcissistic behaviors find a home in any gender, male or female and in any relationship, heterosexual, gay or bi-sexual.

    If you keep your eyes open, you can detect a narcissist’s need for control and self-centeredness. If you make an error they will be critical and unsympathetic. And they will never forget a past mistake. They hold you to a high standard and exhibit disdain for what they consider weakness or vulnerability.

    Narcissists are very charming in order to seduce people into liking them. Their ability to impress people is amazing. They appear confident, exciting and are a “match made in heaven”. Love addicts fall for narcissists and bond with them. The narcissist is so good at their craft, that when their true colors emerge, they manipulate their codependent love addict partner to ensure they will not abandon them. It is as if the narcissist and codependent love addict are fighting for the same thing. The codependent love addict fears abandonment as much as the narcissist.

    Early abandonment of a child places that kid into a very harsh environment, forcing them to endure and grow up rapidly. They hate the fact they were abandoned but believe that they can endure, and if they work hard enough, abandonment will never happen to them again. A codependent love addict adult emerges from this traumatic childhood environment.

    A male codependent love addict is a survivor. He will scrape and do without in order for his offspring and family to survive. These men are self-effacing, excelling in sales, in service positions or dealing with the public. If he needs more money than his 9-5 career can provide, we will find him at a grocery store stocking shelves at midnight or a Home Depot directing others to purchase Sawzalls or mulch on a weekend. These codependent love addicts are constantly fulfilling their role as the primary enabler for their narcissist. A consummate “make doer”, he is unable to speak up for himself, selling himself short in order to avoid the pain of conflict with his loved one. He is strong, he is resilient, and he is a “mute coyote”.

    You might want to consider attending a 12 step mutual support group such as:

    http://www.loveaddicts.org/

    http://www.slaafws.org

    http://coda.org/

    http://www.adultchildren.org/

    To find a professional with counseling experience in love addiction go to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), which is a nonprofit organization dedicated to scholarship and training of professionals certified in sex and love addiction treatment.

    http://www.iitap.com/certification/addiction-professionals

    We Codependent Men – We Mute Coyotes by Carrie C-B , Ken P, Bob T http://www.amazon.com/We-Codependent-Men-Inspiration-Addicted/dp/0578079704

  • I’m a guy, how can I be a love addict?

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    “Seeing her in the afternoon was like being in heaven, it took away all of my worries”

    “This is the only woman who has ever understood me.”

    “She is the woman I have dreamed of being with my whole life.”

    “She will fix me.”

    You are a guy—can you be a love addict? There are many men who have thought these thoughts. There are many men who are dedicated to their wives, yet, seek love in the arms of other women. There are other men who do, do, do for their wives and their families without ever considering their own needs. It is very hard for a man to admit he is a love addict. But there are many men in the 12-step rooms of Love Addicts Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous that recognize they have a behavioral addiction: love addiction. People fall into love addiction because the behavior is transformative. In this case, feelings of love, romance and fantasy are a “fix” or a sedative for the negative feelings of anxiety, despair, self-doubt, rage, fear of abandonment, etc. The problem is that the fix doesn’t last. Just like any sedative, it wears off. All healthy relationships transverse from euphoria to loving. Along that trail you receive the knowledge that your partner is a separate person with faults as well as gifts. You don’t feel rebuffed by your lover, for being you. You know she loves you, warts and all. Or does she? Love addiction is built on relationships that form heightened feelings of anxiety instead of feelings of safety and nurturing. Have you ever felt your relationship has moved from feelings of euphoria to feelings of doubt, depression or anxiety in a nanosecond? A love addict will often think “I love you, but, please stop hurting me.” I say think, because very often these thoughts are stuffed down and never verbalized after the first or second comments were met with a disdainful response. The love addict will deny reality, search for a flicker of the early magic, and tolerate anything in order to obtain a sense of security from their partner. But that sense of security rarely is obtained. The love addict’s dependency on another person is characterized as maintaining the connection, approval or fantasized attachment to the other person. Occasionally, the term fantasy addict is heard in the “S” rooms. How often has a love addict, hurt and emotionally abused by their wife or girlfriend, retreated into the computer fantasy world of porn to seek what they are really looking for in their relationship? The love addict can live in the non-reality or fantasy that their lives are working, because they have the outward trappings of success (the house, clothes, cars, kids doing well). The denial of reality for the love addict is based on their fear of being abandoned, so the love addict makes up in his head that his miserable, love-less life is a small sacrifice as compared to him being alone.

    Accepting crumbs

    One of the greatest losses a male love addict experiences is his loss of self. The constant acting out in an unhealthy relationship results in an increasingly devalued view of self by the love addict, and an increasing idealized version of his love interest. There is an increased need to depend on the wife, partner, boss or friend as the stakes get higher. It is, at times, as if reality has become obscured. A businessman complains:

    “I think she is trying to trick me to slip up, so she can leave me.”

    “I will lie to avoid conflict.”

    “I can last a year on just one compliment.”

    The ability to trust is absent in addictive relationships. The pattern of these relationships involves more and more dependence, less and less fulfillment and many negative consequences that can border on abuse. The cost of being a love addict can affect any part of a man’s life, all of his relationships, family as well as in his career. If a love addict actually loses his “fix,” he suffers not only psychological devastation; but a physical feeling of withdrawal which could include sleeplessness, eating difficulties, disorientation, sweating, cramps, anxiety, and nausea.

    Can I recover?

    It is often from these intense feelings of withdrawal that recovery begins. It begins with the end of denial and the recognition that these feelings could be an addiction. Withdrawal involves the wish to change, even when that wish comes from loss and pain. Recovery is not about finding another person or reclaiming your former lover, but about reclaiming yourself. Recovery from love addiction most often necessitates seeking professional help to regulate your feelings, grow your acceptance of self, improve your self-esteem, heal your past wounds, to look at your dependency issues and to forgive yourself. You might want to consider attending a 12-step mutual support group such as: http://www.loveaddicts.org/ http://www.slaafws.org http://coda.org/ http://www.adultchildren.org/ To find a professional with counseling experience in love addiction go to The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) web site. SASH is a nonprofit organization dedicated to scholarship and training of professionals certified in sex and love addiction treatment. http://www.iitap.com/certification/addiction-professionals